Flowers in memory of Joan

Rosa Compassion

This blog records my gardening life, growing fruit and vegetables for the family, and flowers for friends and relatives. Over the past five years, I’ve written about growing flowers for my mother-in-law Joan as a way of keeping a connection when she started to suffer from dementia. Joan and I shared a love of flowers and flower arranging. When she no longer knew my name, she still enjoyed my flowers and knew I was someone close to her. Sadly, Joan died earlier this year. All bereavements are difficult to recover from, but I’ve been surprised just how much I’ve been affected by Joan’s death. I didn’t feel like talking, didn’t feel like writing, didn’t feel like gardening. All the activities I usually enjoy didn’t seem to make any difference. I suppose, all these years I’ve been able to ‘do something.’ There’s been a purpose to all the work of growing sweet peas, dahlias and roses for cut flowers. Just to see Joan smile and feel as if I was keeping a connection with her, made it all worthwhile. It felt like an impossible challenge sometimes when she got so muddled she couldn’t remember her children or grandchildren. But challenges drive you on and force you to try harder. I was absolutely determined that dementia wouldn’t get the better of us and destroy the special friendship we had. But in the end it did. I feel as if it stole the last few years of her life and any comfort she could enjoy from knowing she had a large and loving family. Dementia took her into a parallel universe where we just didn’t exist. And Joan’s death has left such a hole in our lives, it will take time to readjust and refocus. As a start, I’ve decided to post some flowers in Joan’s memory. Thank you to all the readers who have sent supportive messages over the past five years and have been with me on this journey. I’m a ‘glass-half-full’ kind of person, so I’m thinking what good can come out of this experience and what I can do next to help families with relatives suffering from dementia. I’ll keep you updated on my plans. Meanwhile enjoy these flowers. I hope they bring you joy, as they did for Joan for many years.

I started with the galvanised bucket which came from Jonathan Moseley and contained sunflowers last week. I wrote about them here: https://bramblegarden.com/2022/07/25/sunflowers-for-my-mum-in-a-vase-on-monday/

Jonathan put crumpled chicken wire in the bucket to help support the stems. We are trying to use water and containers instead of florists’ foam containing plastic which contaminates the environment. https://www.jonathan-moseley.com/

Jonathan used lemon-scented conifer as the foliage element for the flower arrangement. I’m using purple-leaved Physocarpus Diabolo which is one of the few plants looking good in the heat at the moment. I used seven stems.

Physocarpus is worth growing for its white flower heads which are followed by these glossy maroon-red seed heads.
I thought these Persian ironwood, or Parrotia leaves would add texture. They are turning pink already. Usually they turn red and then orange in the autumn.

I only had about ten flower stems to put in the arrangement. The whole garden has suffered in the heat. Sweet peas have gone over, the earliest I can ever remember. Anything in flower when the temperature hit 40C was bleached out and dried. However, the roses have been the first plants to throw out new flower buds. This one is Compassion, a gorgeous climbing rose with a fruit-salad scent.

This is a new shrub rose called ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ – Rose of the Year 2021. I wrote about it here : https://bramblegarden.com/2021/08/23/this-months-diary-for-garden-news-magazine/

These roses are perfect for floristry as they are long-lasting and disease resistant. Stems are virtually thorn free, and the scent is a cross between melon and pineapple, fresh and summery.

I found two stems of this gorgeous gladioli growing down the middle of the sweet pea A-frame. The willow frame means I don’t have to stake the gladioli and it makes good use of the bare space in the centre. These are butterfly gladioli which are smaller in stature than the usual cottage varieties. They are also called nanus, or small-flowered gladioli. These are more reliable in difficult conditions because you need much smaller corms to obtain flowers. The large-flowering gladioli have to have good, fertile soil which is also well-drained and you must start with top-size corms. I recommend Pheasant Acre nursery for supplies. https://www.pheasantacreplants.co.uk/

Gladioli flower for a good two weeks and are the right scale to go with cosmos and argyranthemums. I recommend Atom, Carine, Alba, Charming Beauty and Nathalie. Pheasants Acre Nursery sells collections at summer shows and are worth seeking out as there are often special offers.

I added a few stems of an argyranthemum my mum grew from seed. These grow to about 1.5 metres here and are good, reliable plants for summer floristry. Bees and butterflies love them too.

There is just one stem of dahlia Nuit D’Ete. Dahlias hated the heat and are now struggling in the drought. I haven’t watered them. It would be impossible to keep watering them as temperatures are still heading for 30C. I’m hoping they are just sitting there semi-dormant, waiting for the temperatures to dip and rain to come.

My plan of action for next year is to increase the mulching with home-made compost and sheep wool and bracken clay-breaker compost. I will also buy more builders’ bags of maize-based Plant Grow fertiliser. Plant Grow is helping plants cope with the extreme heat. But where I ran out of money and didn’t mulch, the beds are suffering. It just goes to show the power of mulch to hold moisture in during the summer and combat flooding in the winter. I recently visited Chatsworth for a head gardener tour to see the new Arcadia garden planted last year. Interestingly, all the new perennials, and the new rose garden, were planted into 6” of soil improver from Veolia. A no-dig project on a massive scale. I’ll be going back soon to see how the plants have coped with the heat. I’m also liaising with the gardeners as one of many people sharing experiences of working with different types of peat-free compost. All of us are mixing our own additives to try to find something that works well for us. I’ll share our findings when I know more.

I’ve added just two stems of highly-scented Bridal Star carnation. These are recommended for home-grown cut flowers. Plants repeat flower all summer. I’m growing mine in 10” containers in the doorway of the polytunnel. Flowers get some protection from the rain, tucked just inside the door.

This flower was a surprise. It’s a spring onion, gone to seed! I might grow some on purpose, as they make large 4” diameter flowers, later in the season than most ornamental alliums.

My wild flower patch produced these flat-headed creamy white achillea. Another plant which doesn’t mind the heat. These started out as a packet of mixed wild flower seeds from Mr Fothergill’s.

These lime green flower heads are from parsnips allowed to go to seed. Jonathan Moseley allows some of his herbs and vegetables to run to seed and they make striking and unusual additions to his flower arrangements. The white flower in the photo is Cosmos Psyche White. A tall-growing, reliable cosmos. I grew the new cosmos Lemonade last summer, but it didn’t do well for me and was a bit of a disappointment. This year I’ve gone back to tried and tested white cosmos.

There are a couple of stems of blue drumstick echinops. These perennials are probably Taplow Blue, and originally came as divisions from Joan’s garden.

How is your garden faring in the heat. Have you had any rain, or are you parched like we are?

Thanks to Cathy for hosting the In a Vase on Monday meme. https://ramblinginthegarden.wordpress.com/2022/08/01/ina-vase-on-monday-glad-all-over/