In a Vase on Monday

Today’s posy is for restless hands. Hands that once embroidered, sewed, knitted, baked. Soothed small children. Typed. Wrote. Created. And now they are restless.

Hands clasping and unclasping. Reaching for mine and leading me to the door. Beseeching. “Lets go home. We’ll leave a note. They won’t notice we’ve gone.”

We cannot go home. We are here for tests. She’s in hospital for the first time in her life. And I am mesmerised by the hands. Literally, the ringing of hands.

While I wait in a corridor, I look for “hand-wringing.” Noun. Cambridge Dictionary. “If you wring your hands, you show that you are worried or unhappy.”

Collins English Dictionary: “Expressing or showing feelings. When you are expressing sorrow that a situation is so bad, but are saying you are unable to change it.”

‘Hand-wringing: the repeated clasping and unclasping or squeezing of the hands as a symptom of distress. In the face of a dilemma or crisis.”

An example of use is given:” No amount of hand wringing can change the situation.”

Powerless. Great distress. Confusion. The words go round my head.

I hold those hands. And in my desperation to know what to do I supply all that I can think of to soothe and comfort. A small posy of herbs; rosemary and lavender for memory. Scented pelargonium tomentosum. Leaves as gentle as velvet. Sunflowers for joy. Calendula for healing. A tiny hand posy. A corsage for courage. There’s no need for armfuls of flowers. What’s needed right now is the small, the familiar. Something to hold. As I work the flowers back and forth, binding and sealing in moisture and life, my hands echo hers. Twisting and turning. Clasping. Unclasping. Until we are finally both still. Calm. Patient. Accepting. Still.

Alzheimers.org.uk

In a Vase on Monday – Cathy at ramblinginthegarden

28 thoughts on “In a Vase on Monday

  1. Really lovely, Karen – both the flowers and your words and thoughts. If anything, your presence will be calming……….but don’t forget to take care of yourself too. xx

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    • Thank you Susan. I like the idea of a watermark running through our work. That’s so true. Things are a little better today. Thank you for your kind words and for getting in touch. It’s always appreciated x

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  2. Karen your bouquet of flowers is very beautiful but the best of the bouquet is its healing and soothing action to look at those beautiful flowers and smell the soothing fragrance of lavender and rosemary. And you, Karen, being there with her, holding her hands that can not stop moving for help and get her out of there. And you waiting in the hall suffering the unspeakable for her: I get where they do not call me but that suffering does not go well with your delicate health. Worry about her, but keep your nerves firm. If you are not in good health you can not accompany her, take her flowers, hold her hands that do not stop writhing, wait for her in the hall while doing the tests and pick her up at the end of the tests with a smile and a “I already told you I was not going to spend nothing, “hug her give her the flowers and hold her hands. You have to be strong Karen for your health and for all those who need you. Here you have me for whatever. I support you, I give you my strength, my courage and my friendship. A lot of love and health. Take care. Very loving greetings from Margarita.

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    • Dear Margarita. Do not worry. I’ve held on to your advice from the start. I felt as if I was drowning. But now I’m back to my old self, smiling and putting one foot in front of the other, like you told me to. Today, things are much better, and I’m feeling positive and strong. I’m very grateful for your heartfelt comments and words of advice. They have been a tremendous help. Thank you again. And do not worry. Lots of love in return. Grateful hugs. Greetings and love from Karen x

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  3. As I am reading Wendy Mitchell’s book ‘Somebody I used to know’ at the moment this post was even more poignant – it said such a lot in just a few words, but the unsaid words in between said even more. As always, continue to take care – of yourself as well as all those you love.

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    • Thank you Cathy. I must look out for that book. Thank you for your kind words. I’m looking towards next year now and sowing lots of sweetpeas and hardy annuals for more flower arrangements. It’s good to have a focus on something positive. Thanks again x

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